The Parade Of The Loser

True sarcasm
Isn't it a funny thing

You do not take me serious
Whether or not I am being sarcastic

How complimented I feel
Really it's that simple

Childish it seems
perhaps it is

What I feel

Indeed

The day has shown its light

And darkness is the night

Sure

We stand
Here still
In the midst of the storm

In panic or calm

We have to move on

Easier said
when what needs to be kept away
is already gone

Why are you here
Under your control

I question the thought
repetitive goal

It seems to me I'm loosing my grip
Or readjusting my touch

Whatever it is
A diamond rough

Coincidence is believable
Dreams aren't achievable
We're not awake
We're asleep

To wake up and conquer
What a rush

I'm loosing my gut
The feeling the strut

Bleeding with Hush

An unstoppable Fuck

The demons that lurk in the giddy of such

Believe me
I know

That all is unknown

You claim partnership
to the kingdom
That I've called my home

It makes me feel lost
As if I forgot

The child that I was

All the people
their distant memories
All those faces grew up

What is related
if there is no pattern?

How can we learn
When all that is new

Cook up your stew

I spit out your foul

Filth that you bring
forward and still

The ship will now sink

You have not much time

To scheme up a way for the battle we fight!

Who comes out on top

Only they can say

Or hold it a secret

The Losers Parade

A Glass Of Wine With a Couple Of Puffs

The cold Florida weather
how exciting
I have come out of a gloom
Where time Just does not stop
expiring
It's all timeless
we're all counting seconds
till it starts
or till ends

I pretend nothing
i thought
How do you understand the difference really
I assume to be impossible

Need I explain why?
Probably not.

But I do
to myself actually.

Points without aim
are pointless.

So why are you telling me this,
is what I ask
in my head
because I pretend
I pretend
To listen to you
Why?

It's because I am sheltering you from hurt feelings
I believe those words
will hurt you
So I do not say them

I have chosen this as my path
And I am okay with it

Tell me what a surrendered thought sounds like

It's not the thoughts you hear
only actions you ever see

Words and actions
are a very strange combination

What is one without the other?
What is chaos without clutter?
What Is a daydream without stutter?
How do we hesitate and end up in a gutter?
How does your voice bother me so much and I don't bother
To ever speak up and find a reason to suffer


The root is irrelevant
calming the negligent
Fraud in the depth of it
Is caused by the

by the.......


I cannot think about what the word is,
crazy right


How I can lose my place
in Plain sight
My aims tight
Well I sway right

Or left
or whatever
Is said to be clever
The mind thats cloudy
will hear never

Run into the next one to climb over you
Because that's the world we live in

And it is that way
just because....


Because we want reason that we will never get
Wake up

Wake up

Crazy is when there is no reason
That's crazy

"Why did he do that!!?"

"I don't know, that's crazy"

We want to place reason on what just happened opposed to going with our gut

Because our guts are so wrong

They will lead you astray
all to yourself

But if that is what you want
then Hell yeah you're living right

Are you choosing your life?
The inside details of it,
is who you are.

Never forget that.
To establish yourself

You must first know thyself young grasshopper

From tree to tree
Curiosity is a crazy thing
I imagine almost everyone is equally curios
except the randomness variable
You see actuality is a funny thing
It always proves my points wrong sometimes
I hate being wrong

I mean I admit when I am wrong
I just feel like no one wants to hear it
so they don't remember it

I like the sound of my voice
not the tone
but just how smart I feel when I am saying those words
My words don't have to actually be smart for me to feel that way
It's like you're a dummy.

Only the dummy will get upset,
so now the dummy thinks you're smarter than him.

A dummy will not like it when you make him feel stupid,

Not make yourself seem smarter

You just have to make him feel stupid

They rest will take care of itself

When a real smart person is around me

I feel like a dummy

Here's the thing about me though

Only I get to pick who I think is really smart

So if you think you're really smart too

I do not care

I'll be the judge thank you

Don't try to construct my walls

So why do I not say anything

What's worth something these days?

Honestly

Something real and genuine

It's not holding on

It's growth

and its beautiful

Quite honestly

It's patience

It's giving in

It's standing up

It's twirling together

Upwards increasing in speed

A strong foundation can support a castle
and I mean honestly, where do you want to be in the next 10 years?

ten years ago
I was just 15
sophmore?

Never even touched a girls butt
That's a lie
8th grade
there was this 6th grader
Terrible...
But so many 8th graders were dating 6th graders
I was always like I would never
Yet I remember I grabbed this girls butt so hard
like there was no control

So why is suppression a good thing?
Why do we want rules
Because without written rules we are just like everything else
Are the rules just an illusion?

Yet actuality always has its presence
How do we say goodbye to the living?
God, why did you create us so sensitive?


I just read Dostoevsky's quotes and it made me feel like an idiot

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