Sushi? Sure.... :D

With all of the things said,
and done
First and foremost,
Happy Birthday to me.

I would like to thank my mother for not giving me up to the turkish family who could not conceive,
but then again,
who knows the lifestyle I would have been accustomed too.

I grew up not celebrating birthdays,
because the prophet was said to have been born and to have died on the same day.

Making the balance even?
Assuming death does not give reason to remember the person in a celebrating fashion.

Because the life given to us,
the day we arrived, is a gift.

And death is treated like Thievery,
interesting.
How we react to such.

No matter which beliefs we choose to carry with ourselves in our graves,
certain moments,
show our true state.

Yet you can say,

Well that is just an emotional reaction

So that makes the reaction................. what?
Invalid?
Unreal?

Irrational, is what most like to call it.
or those who use the term enjoy saying the word.

The world of irrationality.
Or the world of emotion.

Where our hearts? truly? Lie?

Lately I have been doing a lot better not acting upon my emotion.

Yet sometimes I feel the sense to indulge.

Is it really the right thing to do?

Find reason behind your own actions?
that you do not understand the real meaning behind?

Did I mention today is my birthday?

No words to say,
really.

But yet there is a lot to discuss.

Figuring out situations,
only leads towards more scenarios to deal with.

Yet there is a certain joy to new things.

Perhaps because it is new.

Feeding our curiosity.
I hope my curiosity never dies.

In my case I hope curiosity kills the cat.

On my mind all day.

Getting a grip has never made me feel so in control.

Not saying I am in full control,
there is too much joy in letting control be taken from me.

"Letting"

is the key

word if you did not

catch that.

Makes me smirk,
I enjoy the feeling I get when someone makes me smirk.

I enjoy people who

speak to me,

and not what they believe is me.

Or their own projections they have placed upon me.

Not many can see me.

The only one who surprisingly can

is you.

Don't feel special.

It's my birthday remember.

So I am moving pretty soon.
Excited? perhaps.
Nervous? Yes because I enjoy that feeling.
Scared? Not today.
Anxious? only when people are standing near high places.
Sad? yes.
Happy? Don't think one move dictates such an assumption.


So I just turned 23,
seems a big age to me,
i definitely feel like 22 was a good learning year.

I guess I can only learn things the Harsh way,
or maybe everyone can only learn things the harsh way.
If you are trying to understand and learn the truth.

Yet 23 is still so young.
thirties seem young.

Age is too much of a mindset for me.
or it definitely is turning to be such.

I have met people younger than me who have shown me how to grow.
I have met people older, who have taught me that being older doesn't mean a damn thing.

It is going to be an ambitious year,
maybe more quiet till about new years.

By then I can imagine the scene shall be turnT up by me.

Let's face it,
I am generally attracted to loud noises,
and my love for dancing definitely finely tuned my senses towards steering me towards the right people and music.

I'm trying to keep a lid on my ego.
He seems to want to talk more,
today.

Don't blame him,
it's our birthday.

23 huh?
year of the Jordan?

That's what a person said to me,
and I cannot stop saying it.

If only I could remember who that person is,
so I can give him credit every time I say it.

I always make sure to give credit for something that I say, that was taken from another person.

The curse of being to conscious towards peoples behavior, has led me to realize that certain people take things they see in other people,
and use it as it is their own genuine doing.

Yet I know the traits I have picked up from other people.
If it is the way they argue,
Hand gestures,
emphasis on certain words.

It's all natural.
to see, and to pick up,
to change ultimately.

Not into something that you see,
but into something unknown.
Your old and the New you.

Ideas and mindsets however,
to me,
belong to those who say them or think them.

I hear a good idea, I will share it,
and what I enjoy more,
simply based on how it makes me feel,
is afterwards acknowledging the person who shared such with me.



Well,
i told myself I am not making any plans and I would accept any offer made by anyone who i consider a friend.

I am being taken out to Sushi.

Writing session
ended

Happy Birthday to me

Goddamned Words

What if there was this person, 

who can hear every whisper and hear every thought. 

Sees every action,
Even the ones done in the dark. 

What if this person controls your life at the snap of their finger.
And what decides such,
nothing,
but his will,
just so more you can linger.
Would fear lie within your heart as you move upon your day.
Because we want to live regardless of what any mind say.
So for him you do anything, 

all he asks is for you to pray.
In return for your prayers
Much reward is needed.

He says 

"if you die for me,  

I guarantee that you'll be treated."

Now every day do the same
Take your lifestyle now repeat it.
Living in that world everyday To feel completed.
No matter what these fellings You're feeling, 

this Man can never be beaten.
Any wound you'll ever feel he guarantee that he can heal it.
Would you believe him?
As long as you accept that you'll never see him.
He said you will but not during the time that you are breathin

"Look at me

For real,

Would YOU believe HIM?"

most say yes and few say no.
I just try to keep it real
By letting my thoughts flow.
You say yes so easily like its knowledge that should already be known.
Like one day you were graced too see a real angel glow
Like you have seen the gates of heaven and its trees that it grows
You look down on me

All I ask is, 

"how do YOU know?

Why do you get to and not me?

Something fucked and twisted in my mind"

you say,

"Probably.

He hasn't forsaken you,

you have forsaken thee,

Almighty."

Is he?

So why is he hiding?

I want to speak to him just him

To see which way his mind spins.

I would ask him

Lots of questions.

"What happened?"

You said you're the most merciful,

Yet no mercy is given to the ones who need it most.

With greater power comes greater responsibility.

"It's what YOU said to me!"

What good is power when it's not used when it ought to be.

Do you follow me?

Then these spineless minds interrupt, 

"How can you question the words spoken by he who knows the most.

He who is the greatest

He who is the wisest

He is the most gracious.

Most merciful.

Do not ask him this now, 

you must fully really follow him first."

Sorry, 

but you're not his spokesperson,
If he wants me to follow 

he better give me the time that I deserve.
Where was I?

"It's not that I,

wonder why,

things happened to me,

that have made me cry.

 I don't need the truth to not make sense.

                 Just so I can get by."

My issue is,

You say you're the best that ever is

And ever was.

And that the realest questions

We cannot discuss.

Create a world 

where everyone will fight and die

and never have told you a lie.

Where the individual minds get combined,

into a large machine that our own eyes can't see

Disabling us to realize

That we are just as free

as he says he will let  us be.

That he has written your destiny.
Yet 

some say

if you pray 

he might change it for you, 

only if he wills it to be.

So I ask you, 

yes I'm talking to thee,

Almighty.

How can you say all that to me 

and expect me to believe

that I am still free?

Am I crazy for saying,

I think someone is lying to me.

That I cannot follow, 

respect 

and believe 

 in that which cannot

                           show itself to me?

Then the moment starts hitting, 

             you're sitting 

realizing your speech that you gave to the sky.

No one was listening.

And the realness keeps sinking
In and further in and it doesn't stop
Till you are for certain.

Then you ask me, 

"how are youuu so sure then?"

You who reads and asks the same,

I say to you,

"You haven't listen to a Goddamned Word then."

In 20 years, I will look back on this summer and wonder.

It has been an interesting couple of days.
while the sun has been out, my shirt as been off mostly.

I really do enjoy that.

This is my last summer here,
that I know of.

And I'm sure it is going to be a quiet exit. I have learned a lot of life lessons in tucson.

I have witnessed my growth,
and I have learned,
to always keep growing.

Yet things happen,
events,
that shake us.

Make us lose our base.
We question the direction we are heading.
Where are we going?
Tomorrow I cannot change what I do today.
Permanent is everything we say and do. Yet it is the thought of permanent that keeps us away.

If you feel like you are sleeping on a winning lottery ticket,
chances are,
you're really sleeping on a winning lottery ticket.

Afraid to keep going?
Or just afraid to start.

It's a lot easier to keep going,
Starting is the hard part.

For some people it might be the opposite,
but in all honesty,

Honesty is pure.
Honesty is genuine,
Honesty creates bonds.
which can only be broken by lies.

Deception, what a beautiful art.
which can only be enjoyed,
at the point of attack.

I'M TIRED OF BEING HERE,
I'M NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE,
OR WHERE I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE.

I WANTED TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE,
I WANDERED OFF TOO FAR.

I TRUSTED,
AND THERE IS NO BLAME THAT GOES OUT.

THERE ARE NO FAULTS HERE,
IT IS US WHO DECIDES,
AND RIGHT DECISIONS ARE MADE,
WHEN KEEPING CONSEQUENCES IN MIND.

I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MYSELF FOR A WHILE NOW,
ONLY TO REALIZE THAT EVERYTHING I LEARN ABOUT MYSELF, GIVES ME JOY.

The hard part is realizing your potential and not acting upon it.
I have been wasting away, Pure waste, yet only few have stuck around.

Some have run away,
some have told me to fuck off.
Some have told me I don't like the person you have become,
Some have said they want nothing to do with me.
Some have hated me.
Some have hurt me.

I want to blame the people who abandoned me for my lack of effort in trying.

But I realize that is not right,
It is not the correct answer.

I have to work towards becoming that man that I see myself as.

It is difficult when your weakest thoughts make you act the strongest.

We give in,
We crack, and let it take over.
Yet it is us who does it to ourself.

No one to blame.
But your own thought.

How do we fight weakness?
Why fight it?
Why not give in?
It's okay to let emotion take over.

But we all know those are the wrong whispers that we choose to listen too.

Nothing stays the same,
It either gets better or worse.

Who is here with me,
And who is not.

There is no excuse,
People only give excuses as a sign of pity.

Thinking we cannot handle the truth.

But we all can handle it.

So who knows their reasoning.

Might be malicious,
might be righteous,
might be pure love.

Regardless, I stay marching,
forward I hope.

everyone is gifted I believe.
And we do not only owe to ourselves to conquer our destiny.
We owe it to the people that love and support us.

I can only look to them for help.

I have to tell myself I'm done.

I have to believe in what I believe to be impossible.

Life lessons are the hardest to take in.
We run the opposite way, just so we don't face reality.
We refuse to hear it,
see it,
feel it,
know it.

Because we realize the responsibility that comes with knowledge.
Your life changes, obligations are occurring.
Are we going to deny what we are?
Just because the attachments that come with it?

Are we going to rise and take on the challenge.
The crazy part is,
Not many are presented with the challenges that we face.
We know what is meant for us, yet we are too afraid to take it.

All because of what?
Afraid of change?
Are we that comfortable that we would rather stay and be and do what we have been accustomed too?

We are so blinded that we cannot see something real, when it is right there in front of us?
I plan on having no regrets in my life.
So far I have none.

Yet all I can think is whatever my next move is,
I will regret it.

But time has taught me one thing.

I have never been wrong, when i have decided to continue growing.
I want to live.
I want to see.


Forward I go.
Forward I go.

Letting go,

Letting go.

*Insert drunk text here*

Think
about her
thought by thought!

Just her,
just her......

The way she takes over,
just makes me feel....

complete?
is this how it might feel like?

too good to be true?
At first.

What an amazing thought.

I'll kill to feel the way those words felt.
Don't stop,

because I cannot live without now.

But If i am forced to,
I shall.

But I do not want to.

Just you.
Sweet you

How strong the magic is..........

How you take over,

And how I enjoy every moment


of my own defeat.....

Youuu

How amazing

how beautiful...

You are,

I'll hold you,

Till I can't.

And that day is after you give in.

Therefore It is not happening.

You're beauty,
Is not real.

It is not comprehensive,
through the eyes of any Man.

Except mine.

Your Lips.
Take me away,

To exactly where You want me to be.

No words.

Speechless,
Yet full of  thought,

So lay with me,
and want me,

As much as I want you?

what a dream that I know will never come true.

Surely there has to be an Evil out there that want us to  not be.

And that Evil,
I will fight till I die.

You make me weak,
you are my goddess.
You are my High Power.
You are,
The Most,

Beautiful.......

But you're eyes.....

As full as the moon,

But as deep as the ocean.

How corny that may seem.

Laugh as I do as I speak this

Left hand heavy drink,

How I imagine, us.

I have no idea, what it may hold.

But right now,

Is what I have always wanted.

and I have always wanted...

You.

since I can remember

How much you mean to me...

I do not even know.

Yet you take away my sleep.

When I think of you.



Yet the thought of you

Soothes me,
Because those eyes.....

Those eyes......
So close to mine......



So close to mine........

Till I die.

These eyes will comfort.

Our eyes,
Just yours
and
Mine......

IRONY?

When wenDy Last time i be high da na ma fa qa
Si? When da last time i be high dana mada fa qa?

Qa que andy ay
que da for da questions
Stupid A B for da know
Knowing is di answa

I be high so danca
Your spelling is quatsch
ah!
sprechen sie di deusch ya
Konnen si nich mich manchmal

Somebody get please  please poor stuttering Pr. Qurriel
Magical makes plural
She needa be a good girl
Long lives the squirrel
He always get the need exactly for the funeral

Put a stop to this please.

I briefly feel the need to interrupt.
Look at me,
you are high as shit, everything you have just written was nonesene.
You tried ONCE MORE to attempt to make sense out of NONSENSE!
See the pattern you fucking idiot!
See that shit once and for all!
If it does not make sense.
It is because it DOESN'T!
Why?
Cant we NOT!
See these things!
These things apparently
Mean something?
TO one
Not the other?
So one doesn't bother.

The one stays, the other prays.
Melodies she loves to play
And she know
I love to dance,
the sweetest sound, I hear
and I'm taken.
Taken away of my chair,
eyes are closed,
I stay afloat,
My eyes are closed,
She plays the tone,
I dance, I have to, but I dance alone
My eyes stay closed,
Into my own darkness
I start to Roam,
I leave my home,
My eyes are closed,
I walk the roads,
I felt some hands come along,
My eyes stayed closed,
Then there it was again,
The realization,
the,

The, i cant place words,
I really am trying to express,
that nothing can change,
If it can, than it already has,
and if it still can then it wont,
because,
and let me tell you because,
If you can do something to change,
then it should have been done already,
So there are really only two kinds of people.

Ones who make the leap, to the people who stay marching forward,
Who are not afraid of the truths that they will find!
Who march together as one,
into the darkness,
and we are going,
and Going,
And we are all separated,
Running,
We know we are alone,
but we know there are the ones that are like us,
Doing what I am doing,
Seeing as I have felt,
the way I can hear the thoughts that she doesn't speak.
You know I know the words you withhold,
Or Is that just the man speaking,
who is still dancing to her melody,
For they are so sweet.
Expecting them to be so kind so neat,



I'm currently laughing at that last train of thought,
I had to cut out of character,
Man this is my first not super high moments,
Although its tugging a bit to go back upstairs and play with my high-self,
If you are intrigued to follow,
the train will be taking of shortly,





Ahhhhh.... so where were we?
YEs,
It was a late afternoon,
And my darling woke up,
Taking her afternoon nap it was,
And she looked at me and said, "Babe, are you ready to go?"
So I just looked at her, I made sure to meet her eyes, "I think you have me mistaken for someone who you just dreamed about this second"
The look I got was ranging from High shock, mildly interested, partly surprised, not amused, high panic, no interest, extremely turned on face so you see here by the end of it all I got from what i said is that she was turned on!

*TAKES DEEEEEEEP BREATH*
like a cartoon exaggeration


Ahh I'm back,
That story I tried to make all cool and slick but then I realized I was over-thinking every angle of that story so it made it hard to be funny?

I highly doubt that the last sentence is coherent.
Fawk,
A falcon and a Hawk.
Fawk.

Is the reasoning I used to my senior year criminal justice teacher for using the "F" word in class.
"But I'm just saying FUCK(Fawk)"
If i knew what a troll face looked like back then, this would be the moment I insert it.

And boom goes the dynamite.
Kite
Alright,
Shite
Dite
LIte
TITE
PITE
CRITE
RITE
fuck this game,
its just makes people think im insane,
or i think that they think that im insane,
And there is no end to that game,
so i been trying to play less of it.
and stretch a bit,
Im so high  office dis canibis,
bliss,
is the jist of it,
I kill of it,
The Silhouette
I imagine it,
I try to wash
cant get rid of it,
Im sick of it,
Its crippling,
not really ,
sing,
along,


Fak,
Im back, Im going to grab the shola and eat a bit hoping a come down more from this high,
Ill probably watch some actually lets see whats poppin on hbo go nigga.
Shout out for the HBO GO HOOK UP!


I took a lap,
as my friends would tell me too do if i got to wild,
So yeah,
This is usually how high I want to act,
but for some reason

Man
My sister totally thinks im tripping on acid.
im laughing,
but the whispering is tripping me out shooot.

Snap I think they are waking up for morning prayer,
Here I am high as shit.

Oh man,
Times have changed.
I guess imma put this down, and try to sleep.
Watch something pleasant.
Parks and rec.
So jolly.



Reminder:
You have witness a strictly guided tour of my "educated" thoughts.
Sounds cheesier by the second.
Anyway the point that I am trying to make is that
Oh man i can't believe how hard I am messing with my sister right now.
It's hilarious.

Delete Delete,
certain thoughts I guess I still do keep to myself.

Hmmmmmmm,
the weird reasonings,

Then the lights turn off.

Fuck,
I really wonder how weird this is going to wonder.
I honestly cannot remember getting this "educated"
It is as if, I read the most AMAZING Book,
No,
more like this,
i been reading the same book for a while,
however just imagine if you been reading this pretty awesome book, then you realize that JACK BAUER is the author.
Then the next amazing page that you read, knowing that it had some JACK BAUER in it, JUST BLEW MY MIND!
Like this was the BEST page of the BOOK that I read.
BOOOM!

Figuring females out, I guess comes at a responsibility of promising to not hurt the ones who haven't figured it out yet.
I guess that is what I believed.
I guess,
i don't know.
It just came out, I will need to re read if that made sense.
Well I'm getting sad about the stuff I want to say,

I do not want to write and delete,
So I would rather admit,
that I cannot even bare myself to speak to myself through this text.
My thoughts,
I guess,
should be kept,
hidden,
Such as a buried chest,
buried 10,000 steps west.
"east? I thought you said West(WEAST)." -Patrick

SpongeBob is amazing.
That is one of my favorite lines,
and I say that because it is the only one that stands out the most at this crucial moment.
Ahh 4:20 A:M

Literally.

Irony?

That has a soothing sound to it, saying it like that.

IRONY?

One last time and put her down.








IRONY?

yeah, is that how you feel?

This goes out to you.
yes, the name that echoes through my sleep.
Why didn't you say something?
And the only one who did, you chose stay away from me.
Like a repulsion.

You've trained a good little bitch,
I'll listen if you want me to  stay away.
Be careful with what you wish for,
is what they told me.
I refuse to listen,
Oh I refuse.

I lost what I should of had,
at the price of wanting something
that I am never going to get.

Yet we still pursue the ideas that have drowned us already.
With the hopes that one day,
our expectations will be met.

Fuck that,
Surrendering is not an option,
but refusing to be tortured should be identified as something else.

How could you leave me?
You said you never would!

It's not leaving,
If I was never yours in the first place.

Simply just breaking out of the spell.
or at least another weak attempt.


Why didn't you say something?
You are so strong, but when strength needs to be used,
none is utilized.

Walking away,
how disappointed I was.
That I was the only one in the room who said a word.
I didn't dare make noise of a sound while you were in the midst of your storm out.
I know you HATE the feel of someone's pity.

You don't need my help,
trust me.

I feel you loud and clear.
But when you stay quiet,
My apology is the last thing you want to hear.

Stay the fuck away from me!
Your body cringes to my touch.

So tell me How do I respond?

One thing I'll tell you.
There is not a soul in the world that can heal my thoughts,
except you.

Yet that power, that you have,
is weakening.

It's not my patience that grows thin,
it's my soul trying to protect me from harm.

Yet you only understand when you want to,
Most likely when you admit your love,
the moment you know the words you speak,
are the ones forgotten, with the alcohol at large.

Ahhhhh, how the sweet words soothe the pain,
unfortunately accepting the lie, that numbing the pain,
is only going to make me addicted to the numb emptiness.

To feel empty and numb,
Well let me tell you something.

It all happened,
You could have yelled back,
thrown something back.
Punched,
kicked,
SOMETHING

No one would hurt you,

especially with me  there,

Everyone knows that.

yet you still said,
"Stay the fuck away"

And your body cringed.

Unfortunately I am not stupid.

Miss you i will.
No doubt about that.

To anybody's curiosity.

She is smarter and better than me,
Meaning she is definitely better than you.

Then they say, "NO You don't know me!"

But I have been by your side for three years.

And I  believe our actions are an image of who we are.
I see you for who you are unfortunately and unfortunately.


But who we are today, is far from who we want to be.
I believe, only the people who truly love you, are the only ones who see your potential.

Not who you are,
but who you WILL be.

Enough typing.

Why did you walk away?
Where is that empowering women testimonial?


The first guy we took,
kinda weird.


I love you and fuck you for telling me to stay away.
But your wish is my command.

unfortunately.



Moving forward  has to be done.







Smile if you need my help.

4:24 A.M

I need to be more careful with the words I choose to accept. Sometimes it is nice hearing these sweet lies.

Lies
Lies
lies
lies
Lies
lies
lies
lies
lies
Lies
Lies
lies
Lies
Lies
lies
lies
lies
Lies
lies
lies
lies
lies
lies
lies
lies
Lies
lies
lies
Lies
Lies
Lies
Lies
Lies
lies

Typing it so much, I question whether that is the right way to spell it. I chose this,
I didn't know it was like this.
Fuck it, This is what I want,
unfortunately.
Captain hindsight has no purpose here.

All I have to figure out is, which thoughts Are mine?
Throw everything at me at once,
but I sure as fuck cannot say anything.

What a good trained puppy I  have become.
That's just the sad reality.
Or what it seems like. sometimes when I think too much.

I have to get my shit together,
but who am I kidding.
There is nothing here for me,

All I want, (ed)
Just some selective company.
And I smile as I type this.

It's incredible to see how much one can make me feel.
I don't think many have that capability.


She's better than me,
She's better than me.

Anchorman is a pretty funny movie.

My life is a joke, if I can be flat out honest.

I neglect my own family,
I hurt the ones that show me true love.

I really have mistreated my sister,
my brother,
I don't even know where me and him stand. We grew up together, we were on the same soccer team as kids.

Starting at the age of 5. He played striker, while I played defense. He was great, still is. But he let that go.
He is a stranger to me now.

My father sees me and I feel the shame.
I see the look of disgust.

My mother is losing her sanity day by day.
I shattered her Naive and Innocent world.
She looks at me, as if was smiling the whole time, as I watched myself slowly fade the happiness from her smile.

My younger brother,
hasn't spoken a word to me, it has probably been a year.

Crazy to think that he looked up to me.
It's remarkable when you see younger siblings follow the same footsteps that you accidentally stumbled upon, except their steps are deliberate.

And now......
I have nothing but my imagination to fill in the blank when I wonder, "How is my brother doing? That brother that I talked to everyday, Laughed with everyday. That brother that would listen when I would teach him about my experiences."

Where is he?


The only image my mother sees in me, is a portrait of a Man that only sparks one question, "How could you do this to ME?"

I don't know mother,
Apologizing isn't exactly my forte.

My baby brother, he just turned 5. April 4th was his birthday.

I don't like to think that anything is mine, except for my actions,
but when it comes to him....

When it comes to him,
All I can say,

is nothing,

There is no word in any language that can describe how much I miss him.

I would hold him so close to me,
and he would know,
He just would.

When his eyes would search for mine,
That adorable confused look he would give me when he needed me to explain something of importance to him.

When he would hurt himself, I would tell him, "If you cry over small bumps and bruises today, you're going to be in a lot of trouble when you get older"

He probably didn't understand what I said, I would like to think he did,  because he would stop crying.

A 3 year old can amaze you.

My baby sister, she is three now, she is going to forget about me.
That's the future that I do not want to be a part of,
but if we choose to survive, we must adapt.

So what am I doing, up another night?
early morning for some people I guess,
4 A.M. is my midnight.

Sitting in this house,
where memories are fading away from the crayon marked walls.
Holes in the walls that remind me of the times I lost my temper and ran my fist through them.

I am sitting alone,
Alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
Alone
alone
alone
Alone
alone
Alone
alone
alone
Alone
Alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone
alone

I don't feel alone,
I don't feel lonely,
I don't feel,

I am.

It's not a sad reality to me,
I have friends,
I have some really good friends,
Pretty much to summarize,

My friends are cooler than yours.

So if this seems like me complaining,
then it probably is.


Let it all spill, knowing more than half is bullshit,

Not for me,
I always remember my words,
especially when I mean them.

Why do you choose such specific words,
just to later tell me they were not true.

I am way to far in my head,

I need to lighten up.

I really do,

I need to focus on myself,

Perhaps try to be selfish more often.

I guess that is my goal for tomorrow.
Be more selfish.








How can I be selfish when I love her more than I love myself?

















Deep thoughts,

do not like sleep.

Or at least won't let me.

Change the world
By changing yourself,
which changes the people around you.
Pun intended.
So now you're in a new group,
with you're new self,
and everyone believes in your changes,
Now your whole group has changed,
Circles grow,
we know that.

New people are introduced the way I will be.
Minds that think alike,
speed up the process,
everyone is working for one purpose.
Progress,
success.

Bullshit,
all of it.






No Mercy For The Wicked.




















Our eyes,
               Just yours and Mine.