On on to the next.

Just finished my next project,

This one I am excited about,

Because I have been memorizing the whole song,
and have only been recording the whole thing on one try.

This song is my first song I recorded and succeeded on my first attempt.

I believe the more I can do that,

the more I become ready to perform these songs.

So I do not chop it up into multiple parts,
you know,
so I can prove to myself I can perform these songs in one attempt,
opposed to just constructing an image that leads people to think something when it's nothing.


lolssss.


well here it is


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLqyY6dgI9k&feature=youtu.be

My own reflection

I want to,
see what happens,
when i start a sentence,
hoping you read,
this with a certain expectation,
that you have kept in mind,
praying,
actually,
not really,
rather,
just half-heartedly wished,
not realizing,
the image that really,
showed itself,
to the eye,
of
the Holder,
of Beauty.
So really,
an apology should only be expected,
if your actions,
were carried out consciously.
But then that would make,
every step,
and every act,
so malicious.
And that
cannot be
the truth,
ever,
because
as a matter of fact,
I laugh,
because I know,
that the direction
i am headed towards,
is spitefully pushed,
by my own crazy agenda.
Not for a second do we admit,
when we surrender,
control,
I have,
not given
her any,
yet
I just chose,
to act appropriately.
Call me,
a name which,
I have not heard,
And I say this,
not in the sense,
where the intention,
is to seek
your genuine
Sympathy.
trust me,
What makes me most uncomfortable,
is when people,
try to take care of me.
In a very specific sense,
get your head out of the gutter,
i am trying to be serious,
But yet,
I do believe,
that what I mean,
is impossible to see,
at this point,
for I am drowning again,
in my red sea,
Yes
by that,
I mean whiskey.
Whether it is what I think it is,
is up for him to know.
I'm done shaking hands,
over bets,
that I end up breaking,
because my guilt can't be shaken,
Undefeated,
you say you are,
Let me ask you
If torture is forbidden
in All religion
then why is it
allowed in
Hell?
Please do not immediately
feel the need to
make an argument,
for that which,
you have no business
with.
Please understand what I am saying.
Can you
She can,
or cannot. I seriously,
with all honesty inside of my conscious part of my inner thought,
do not know,
what she wants.
But that really is not for me to
try to
understand,
when I beg
for help,
the way,
the only way,
I know how.
So please do not think I am
an asshole,
I swear I am the nicest
warmest,
person,
yet,
all that I imagine myself
to be,
is never checked,
by the image that Is actually,
shown to reality.


Fuck You.
You don't know Me.




I believe in forever,
regardless of how empty it leaves us at the end.
regardless if death is the only promised exit.

I never want to leave the world that you exist in.

After death,
i'll follow you wherever.

I don't care what you want.

Are you mad at me? lolz

So today,
this is what I woke up and wrote,
and recorded.

It all kind of urged out.

instead of reading them yourselves,

I made a video of me reciting what I wrote for you.

Your welcome asshole.


You're*


I mean....

I hope you like it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3xDe4pgCto&feature=youtu.be

I wonder...

I wonder,
why

it just happens
that I Never am
The guy.


Not gonna lie,
sometimes it keeps me up for a while.

Yes its true,
The Passion was Real.
The Intentions were Clean
But what did it mean,
When it just so happened to seem,
That My Genuine part,
Started getting harder to be.

The way I express,
the definition of my dreams,

Is to paint a picture,
that can build hope to restore beliefs,

Yet I stutter,
still wonder,
the depth of,
the most popular gutter,

Where it feels cool to be bad,
and to be bad is to be sad,
to cry about all the things you once had.

But believe me when i say,
the changes of today,

never appear the way you might think.

It is all because,
the issues created.

For us to
Climb up all the stairs just to jump down to escape it.


Forsaken,
are those,
Who i suppose,
believes that they just know,
the order of all things,
And the places it goes,
The warmth of the soul,
That's keeping me close,

What gets me the most,
Is the idea I proposed,
Only to myself so that nobody knows.


My whispers I speak,
darkness it creeps.

You won't stay for a bit?
You sucked the blood off my lips?
Why am I mishandling this?
I'm confused,
why you pissed?
You hate when i insist?
To show love with a kiss?
And to get lost in the mist?
No more tears to reminisce,
Just you and me I just wished,

Yet somehow I resist,
To the way that she just twists.

tough little boy
with a heart to just give.

And I guess that's it.






..........................

You know I like it when you smile for me.

What would life be

without the chemistry

that we

So much enjoy

To just let flow

So gracefully

Smiling I bet,
you are.

For the reason that one holds in,
perhaps a little too hard.

Don't we ever wonder why we smile?
At the misfortunes of others?

Do not be taken back,
and deny such act

Because as a matter of fact,
We laugh
Because such things,
We love,

because lets be honest,

It distracts.

Never synchronizing our inner thought,

with our outer voice,


Lets be honest,
for once
I promise
Just come
I cant just stop It
because
Not that I lost it
it's just
I want it
but lust
Allows my flaws
to become
So haunted
Now run,
if you followed,
For fun?
You say,
but we play dumb,
See I have problems
that begun
So Long Ago
See I was On a roll
like the 8th time I made honor Roll
Man I was Young,
but 6th grade I swear
Testosterone started to run
faster and faster,
It was Racing
It felt Amazing,
to be Blind all the time,
Yet I keep pacing,
With the same thoughts on my mind,
so in-complacent,
Looking for hard to find.
I love to face it,
When the music makes me dance to unwind.
smiles on Her faces,
Makes me proud to be wild.
These sweet little chases,
Really don't last for a while,

I Want the excitement,
AS much as I thought I needed the thrill.

I spent no time when I write this,
it feels the most real.

I hesitate at moments,
Looking for my next potion,
Trying to avoid being fooled,
by yet another sweet scent.

Can't change words,
by saying
That's not what I meant.

Can't change actions,
by playing pretend.

Don't let go of my hand,
And wonder why I couldn't make it till the end.

WHAT'S DUDE!

It is so time for this,

When I started,
I immediately regretted this decision.

Damn.

Really,
I wonder,


Really,
What the fuck is going on?

There is no way there is a person orchestrating our actions,

Because all of our actions,
collide,
and paint such an abstract picture.

As if
we are the color,
and the life that we choose to live,
ultimately will dictate the picture we leave behind.

Damn,


So right in the moment.

I am currently listening to Lil wayne.


Hell yeah Hell yeah,

Fuckn Riiiight!

reminds me of Vegas.

Fucked up,
Faded,
laughing, Loud and obnoxiously,
Where the pedestrian walking the other would would just look at me and think, "Oh he's just having a good time in vegas."
Leanin on my niggas,
While they were leaning on me.
"Nigga listen"
Stumble laugh,

You don't understand the platform I was in.

We were gone,
mentally on another planet.

We were walking,

You know me and ****** were walking, and I was just hearing his voice while I was zonin staring straight ahead,
see my other nigga Linguini was staggering back talkin to some ho's on the same mindset we was on.

He was having a great time.

That sets the stage for the story,

So all that in mind,
Action.


I was walkin,
lookin around like man this shit is crazy,
Look at all the lights and people and Limos and lights and people and my footsteps moved so precisely,
Yet the alcohol made me wander off not so politely,
But the Whitest light kept me up so kindly.
Point being I was fucked up.......

All I hear are my thoughts,
And My homies voice,


ALL THE SUDDEN!



SPLAAAASHH!!

My nigga way in the back talkin to girls,

"My friend did what?"

Girls screaming,

"YOUR FRIEND JUMPED IN THE WATER!!!"

That is when I zoned in,

I didn't realize the reason I did not hear his voice anymore was related  to the splash noise that came after him not talking anymore.

I had to focus quick.

My friend decided to jump in the front entrance Water from the bridge that crossed over the front.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY!


REACT!


I RAN OVER THERE!

"OH SHIIIIIT MAN HELP ME!!!!"

He was screaming!

I ran to the lowest part of the bridge!

Hung my whole body over.


"GRab my HAND!"

I screamed with desperation.


He plunged his body with one thrust that required all remaining energy,

and fell short.....


Now a crowd was forming around us.

The girls that my homie was talking came to observe like all loud "OMG LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!"

So lots a heads started turning QUICK
in heavy traffic area,

Oh By the way this is Treasure Island I am speaking of,



in vegas....




After the first failed attempt and realizing the potential hazard that is approaching our fate quite hastily,

I looked back down to my friend in the water,
Who had no way out immediately,
other than my hand.

I searched for his eyes,

And I gave him the look,

The "Nigga

NOW!


or

You're FUCKED!"

Look.


And he knew that failure in vegas was NOT an option.

I lit a fire in his eyes that spread to his heart within the split moment because the next thing he did,

Was reach higher than anyone else in the world,
Were they put in a similar situation,
And I held his hand and Pulled his whole body up.

Thrusted him right over the ledge and back on the bridge with one pull.


Flicking both hands because he was soaked.

"Oh SHIIIIIIIT I'm soooo WEEEEEEEEEET!"


And we kept walking and didn't talk about what happened until we woke up the next day.


one of the MANY stories......

Files done.

Well here is me releasing my second song.


To be honest,

I do not know which one I like more,
The first song,
or this one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22sDWXekvK0&feature=youtu.be