yeah, is that how you feel?

This goes out to you.
yes, the name that echoes through my sleep.
Why didn't you say something?
And the only one who did, you chose stay away from me.
Like a repulsion.

You've trained a good little bitch,
I'll listen if you want me to  stay away.
Be careful with what you wish for,
is what they told me.
I refuse to listen,
Oh I refuse.

I lost what I should of had,
at the price of wanting something
that I am never going to get.

Yet we still pursue the ideas that have drowned us already.
With the hopes that one day,
our expectations will be met.

Fuck that,
Surrendering is not an option,
but refusing to be tortured should be identified as something else.

How could you leave me?
You said you never would!

It's not leaving,
If I was never yours in the first place.

Simply just breaking out of the spell.
or at least another weak attempt.


Why didn't you say something?
You are so strong, but when strength needs to be used,
none is utilized.

Walking away,
how disappointed I was.
That I was the only one in the room who said a word.
I didn't dare make noise of a sound while you were in the midst of your storm out.
I know you HATE the feel of someone's pity.

You don't need my help,
trust me.

I feel you loud and clear.
But when you stay quiet,
My apology is the last thing you want to hear.

Stay the fuck away from me!
Your body cringes to my touch.

So tell me How do I respond?

One thing I'll tell you.
There is not a soul in the world that can heal my thoughts,
except you.

Yet that power, that you have,
is weakening.

It's not my patience that grows thin,
it's my soul trying to protect me from harm.

Yet you only understand when you want to,
Most likely when you admit your love,
the moment you know the words you speak,
are the ones forgotten, with the alcohol at large.

Ahhhhh, how the sweet words soothe the pain,
unfortunately accepting the lie, that numbing the pain,
is only going to make me addicted to the numb emptiness.

To feel empty and numb,
Well let me tell you something.

It all happened,
You could have yelled back,
thrown something back.
Punched,
kicked,
SOMETHING

No one would hurt you,

especially with me  there,

Everyone knows that.

yet you still said,
"Stay the fuck away"

And your body cringed.

Unfortunately I am not stupid.

Miss you i will.
No doubt about that.

To anybody's curiosity.

She is smarter and better than me,
Meaning she is definitely better than you.

Then they say, "NO You don't know me!"

But I have been by your side for three years.

And I  believe our actions are an image of who we are.
I see you for who you are unfortunately and unfortunately.


But who we are today, is far from who we want to be.
I believe, only the people who truly love you, are the only ones who see your potential.

Not who you are,
but who you WILL be.

Enough typing.

Why did you walk away?
Where is that empowering women testimonial?


The first guy we took,
kinda weird.


I love you and fuck you for telling me to stay away.
But your wish is my command.

unfortunately.



Moving forward  has to be done.







Smile if you need my help.