March first

easy does it


What a direction

I find myself just wondering,

where did I end up?

I draw a blank
isn't that impossible?

Just figure out how to word it
perhaps that might help.

Memories,
feel better

Yet my feelings grow thin,
how is it that certain sounds

Just do not have their same effect anymore?
Has the hour grown cold already?

WHere is my new feel?

I feel like I'm slipping and I cannot seem to catch myself
Yet I have the slightest control

in regards to the interactions
I have
with the people
I accidentally
encounter

Sleep,
sometimes I wish I could for an eternity,
then wake up continue.

Life is so serious.
to the idiots it seems,

Yet I feel like the real idiot at times,
but I do enjoy laughing at all this

that I write,
with intent for you to carry a trait
that you found in me
with you

An advantage,
allowing for things to happen,

not resisting
yet absorbing

fusing powers,
listening to detail

taking pride over every second

Heavy head
or just attached to my magnetic bed?

I need to rest
But I try to impress

The empty audience

I want my Grand Act

I want my spectacle

I find myself thinking out loud
never really.

I search for my inner voice,
it seems i can only hear it
when I talk to it.

lolzz


Man,
I do not enjoy so much of a lot of the things that are going on right now.

I wish I could explain why,

but it's just that I do not really want to think about it.
I know what it is,

I could guess,
but I do not.

I guess the guilt weighs heavy
eventually

How is it that I can just
live
knowing that I cause pain
to those
that I
consider close
for choosing my way

Goodness, time moves yet the pace frightens when we choose to keep the pace with reality.

It requires something from us everyday.


Days pass forward
quick
with the feel of a drunken glow
that mushes it all together.

Yet it's not consumption that has made itself my crutch,
I immediately argue with myself as I say this.


I need to detox,

Chaos controls destiny

so really,
do you have what it takes to take charge over yourself?


big words are never heard.

meaningless becomes that which is repetitive,
only with desperate attempts.

Strive for perfection,
only to realize flaws.

Perfection is reality

either that
or inexistent


Yet we find our own personal perfect.

We have the power to visualize our dreams.


We live our dreams by simply doing what it takes.

yet cliche sayings
quotes amongst quotes

No one understands.



So universal,
yet so individual.

I can't understand so much.

So let it be,

and learn to be.

Do not hold on to anything

spread the hand and feel the wind in between the fingers

Freshness,
Listen to wonderful thoughts

run for happiness
away from misery
hoping to find the answer
only to find another piece to the puzzle
that you ran away from,

What to do now......




Lord help me find the answer,


lolz.







deeeeeeep breath man.


I'm going to bed.


I love my niggas

You're CRAZY bro

I have so much to say
scream it
shout it,


No need I guess.

Because,

if i can be honest,

hoping and wishing I am,


I'm lost for words


So what good

Shall come out of

Me screaming

In anger
with empty words?


Just another angry person perhaps.


And I'd wink at you

Hoping you understood,


But of course you did,

Smug is me for thinking,

I made you see something
You have not yet before.

So
smug am I
to you
because
I did not
let you think of it

First?

I don't know man,
don't ask me.


When I hear problems
that I have come to realize

Are simple enough to be solved by one person


Should be solved by one person


I mean how much hope

Is there in a person

who cannot understand

Simple concepts
on their own

But I mean,






There are years left to grow
Some make quick assumptions,

just based one watching where certain branches have strayed


Forgetting to look at the Tree itself.


Right?

Or am I reaching in the air

with my heart holding onto a handful of hope?

But what do I know?

I smile

wanting to ask the same question back.

But I stay quiet.


Not really,

Because my silence and body language itself
should already say enough.



I mean

It does for all you guys

So why can't you easily read me,


The way I just

feel like

I Can so

easily do

to each

and everyone of you.




Calm down
Calm down




I have to tell myself
but trust me I know.
So what is the point?




Don't ask stupid questions.


Today I met Brian from Backstreet Boys.


I talked to him and his wife.

I was very


observant



wanting to see what kind of person he was





He Spent the whole time with his wife,
if not her
his son



Happy family


Usually I see rich older husbands on the phone

With sexy young wives maliciously plotting their next sex adventures in their mind

OMGGGGGG!

My earliest childhood memories consist of some Backstreet Boys


He was my brothers favorite




Quick rant
Quick

Rants.




I guess.



Bull shit




just

finds ways to pile up


only if


you let it.


but shhhhhhhh



that's the big secret.


Can you believe it

before you can handle it.




Probably not.




I'm so much cooler than you.




Serious bro.





How much do you even lift bro

My stand-up starts in 2 days,



excited,

I don't even know.



This


to me

Could be my biggest step


(my first step)


That's why.


And I'm like whaaaaaaaaa?


not even steven thinking about it.




Laughter,
fills the rooms
in my head
followed by silence
met by doom



Shit.


I wanna

not  talk about sad stuff.


let it pile up I guess for another day.








Part of Happiness

is knowing how to be crazy