The Hamster Wheel

I waste too much time
worrying about how people care too much about the image
that is perceived by others
of them

One day at a time
Until time runs out
so why run away
From this empty house

Where is my welcome?
Pardon me
Where 'was' my welcome

Fragments left
Anything I do is natural
But I'm not special at all

There is nothing great about any of these
words written
hoping they come out as riddles
Hoping that it can just happen on its own

I don't want to sleep
I don't want to wake up
I wanted forever
I could have sworn we were both screaming it

Nothing feels the same
I catch my self
not often enough

Purpose Purpose Purpose
How good people are at just being what they're supposed to be

I'm still to busy panicking about what we are
Where I am

I think too much

I hear it more often than not

Is it a surprise that I take that as a compliment

Makes me feel as if the reason for my behavior is just to get a certain rise out of people

If you asked me who i was
I would have no idea what to tell you

And I have never felt more sure about that

If I talk about myself
It's all wishful thinking

My biggest flaw
is that I believe I am better than you

I don't even know you
How can I just feel this way?

Is that just how humans are?

Maybe I babble too much
I try to search for an enemy within

I swear I feel humble

or am I just too afraid to challenge those that can defeat me
IN anything that I take pride in
believing I am superior

Smug?

I don't think it's that

Strength and perseverance

having a drive inside
that does not stop for anything

To be obsessed with your work
As if possessed

Purpose makes one lose ability to question their action

That feeling that captures the image in your head
Justifies your hard work

How far have I drifted?

fat fuck
Loser habits

With no work ethic

There is no end to the hamster wheel

Slowly but surely
I guess when I lose it for a moment

What the fuck am I doing?

I used to think if you're doing something
it is better than nothing

Now that something has me wondering............