Unrestricted Isolation

"Phase two"
is all that was said. This of course was done only to add effect.
"Well, go on."
I said after giving him his three seconds of dramatic silence.

"It's not gonna be easy, So I am not gonna blame you for having some difficulties."
Saying it as if he knows it all, but I must remain sharp.
"Usually when people look to place blame beforehand, it means they're second guessing themselves,"
This took him back a bit,
I must seize this moment and continue.
"I understand the worries you have for me, but something tells me you're trying to panic vicariously through me."
Now if that is not at least considered a poke,
I will just have to quit. But I shall not be too haste to celebrate,
a Man with a reputation,
will always desire to leave an impression.

"You seem to understand a lot,"
he starts of very slow, it's obvious he is stalling.
or is he trying to create some sort of effect again?
"so tell me then,
am I panicking?
Or simply,
the only one out of us two,
who is not in denial"

I understood right away,
but I chose not to give him the feedback he wanted.
I kept my face looking scrambled.

I wanted him to question his delivery,
He didn't lose eye contact,
The only thing that changed was his straight face.
Now he was smirking,
arrogantly.

"Of course you know what I am speaking of mister....?
He knew my name,
of course he did.
Pathetic power play.

"Oh pardon me for the improper introduction,
I could have sworn we met already?"
Hmmm, i guess I'm choosing to kill him with kindness? But to him it might seem as a small victory. And whatever victory he believes he's achieved will only make him more confident,
and confidence is the steroid to the mind that has chosen to stay ignorant and arrogant.

"I am so sorry, we must have. I am terrible with names, since I was a kid I was always known to be forgetful," he actually said very polite.
I was looking for that hint of sarcasm.

"So would you like to hear about phase two?"

"sure."
Perhaps too quick I responded.
makes me come across too eager.
For some reason, acting eager makes people think you're a kid.

"Phase two, the part where the smoke clears, the noise fades, the sun rises only to shed light on your new surrounding," he started.
"And you know what your new surrounding is?"

I hate when people want me to answer rhetorical questions only to add effect to their story.

But he was still waiting for me to say something,
I won't,
i caved,
"what?"

and I'm sure there was some frustration in that word.

He waits a second,
his face is just telling me,
clever he is going to feel after saying whatever he is going to say.

"You look around for the first time, with the light exposing everything, only to realize your new surrounding is NOTHING."

"Nothing?"
I responded quickly again!
This time I didn't mind.

"Would it be too much if I asked for some elaboration?"
I asked this of course expecting a very excited reaction. I have learned that people enjoy when you seem curious about what they have to say. Especially when you seem curious enough to ask them to keep talking.

"Well okay,
let me explain this from another aspect,"
he's getting ready for a monologue,
it seems like.




"We make decisions,
and we live by them to an extent. We always leave a safety net to fall on. We say we live with our decisions but it just doesn't feel that way. Is it because we do not realize that the safety net is the main source of our problems?
In life,
There Are the decisions that we make based on
what we want to do,
and there are the things we actually do,
in case of what we want,
not happening,
so therefore,
we tell ourselves,
our Plan B is second,
Yet our Plan A,
really is our plan B,
And our PLan B,
is really our plan A."


He finished that statement wanting to continue, yet he believes he is the only one who can keep up with his thoughts,
that not everyone can understand when he rambles,
he wants me to nod,
or say something to acknowledge that I am following.

"So our real plan A is the safety net,"
threw him a quick wrench.

His immediate response,

"No not at all,"

Followed by,

"Well yes,"

Then smiling saying,

"I mean,
yeah.
Oh!
I see!
Okay!"

This actually got him more excited.


"We want to test these life changing decisions,
and it is impossible to test out new ideas when you are being surrounded by all your old decisions,"

I don't to acknowledge how much sense he is making,
why is that?

"So we truly understand if our new decisions work,
only once we put ourselves in a new environmenT,
So phase one is placing yourself in a new environment"

I don't like how he is making all these side points,
just to create more suspense and glory for his final point.
I want to tell him to stop thinking he is brilliant or extremely smart because he points out obvious things.

"And when it's just you and your decisions, after phase one,
comes phase two,"

I understand what he is saying, I feel agitation and frustration because you are trying to accept the truth, I guess I have to keep telling myself that.

"and Phase to my friend,
Ya know what that is?"

This time at least he didn't expect me to answer that rhetorical question,
rather he needed that pause to take a sip of his whiskey.

"Epic loneliness," and he burst out into laughter.

And I fully saw the humor,
I appreciated the humor.
I appreciated that he appreciated it.

"You let that phase two creep in hard enough,
you're going to question and doubt every decision you have made,"

He's making good points,

He's making sense!


"Always remember,
subconsciously or consciously or whatever,
you're just holding on to the comforts of the past.
Face it,
you're not going to meet anyone for a couple of month,
shit you'd be lucky if it was that quick.
You don't really meet anyone,
like really meet someone,
until like a year in."

I stayed quiet and smiled,
as if those words didn't shake me.

"Utilize that time,
unrestricted isolation is known to be the key element of greatness."


Immediately I wanted to say,
"Says who?
You?
You're just this guy who is on his fifth whiskey,
who I just watched smoke a joint 10 minutes ago,
and now you're sitting here just babbling believing anything that comes out of your mouth,
is genius.
You don't know shit!
you don't know me"

But I bit my thoughts,
"It's hard hearing hard truths,
yet alone from a stranger,
who speaks as if he has known me for a while.,
I do have an urge to question why one feels such entitlement to go around pointing things out to people they do not know,"

His face was changing as I was speaking,
he was trying to reestablish his posture,
he's feeling threatened,
I continued,

"But if I said all that,
the same argument can be used on me,
so end result i see what you're saying,
I know when i hear bullshit,
and I know when i don't,
I'd like to think."

I smiled,
because sometimes i think people do not understand me,
so if I am smiling,
they know I am not angry,
but perhaps they might think I'm crazy.





"Well cheers to that,"
he lifted his drink,
almost out of pity for he saw my misery.


"and yes,
you should go talk to that girl in that red dress,
i mean come on,
she is wearing a red dress and is definitely eye fucking you"

He's literally trying to cheer me up,
and it really pisses me off,
as if I'm some wounded little puppy bitch.

"You have led me to believe that you doubt my abilities when it comes to talking to the ladies.
Perhaps you think I am shy and scared of girls as well?"

As I was trying to be witty and hold my ground as a respectable young man,
a girl was walking towards us,
passing behind him.
Pretty,
yes she was.

"excuse me," I gently pulled on her wrist.

"my friend here is awfully upset because I am going to leave him alone now,
because in my heart I very much desire to talk to that woman over there,"

This catches every girl by surprise,
the tug on the wrist made her react quickly,
but once she realized what was happening,
She started smiling and loving every second of it. I can see his reaction through my peripheral,
and I really do not have to look to know that this caught him by surprise.

"And there is nothing to worry,
my friend here is a gentleman who fancies himself on his fine abilities to keep a woman,
such as yourself,
very entertained,
throughout all the different parts of the night"

I knew saying that last part,
made him act a little awkward,
which only made the girl laugh,
so overall,
Bingo.
Right?


"Well if you can now excuse me,
I have to go make this woman fall in love with me."

Perfect exit,
she was smiling,
he was impressed of how well i opened that up for him.

My confidence was through the rough,
I felt invincible. The whiskey starting to settle in,
the night is catching rhythm,
I'm walking straight towards her,
I avoid thinking about what to say,
I prefer when things come naturally.

Right before I get there,


I stop,
and decide,

to go home.

No distractions.

Phase two must first be endured.

He was right.

I am right.



Unrestricted Isolation